On Joe Six-Pack and the Soccer Mom:

Dear Average Americans,
I know this question has been brought up over and over by smart-ass people like me, but I still don't get it. I'm still confused. I've been watching the campaigns for the last eight years and continuously, over and over, candidates try to appear like the boy next door, like your average guy.

Please explain this to me, because I think I'm a pretty smart person, and yet somehow, I don't feel qualified to run a country. So anyone that I would qualify as my intellectual equal, probably isn't fit to run the country either. Man do I sound snobby by setting myself up as some kind of above-average person here, but statistically, speaking, I'm college educated and that means I'm automatically in some kind of elite faction. And I don't want people like me running the country. I SURE AS HELL do not want "average" people running the country either.

What I want is someone SMARTER than me. Someone who understands our problems better than I can. Someone who can solve problems that I cannot solve.

Look look, I understand all that hoollabaloo about relating to the constituency. Those stinkin elitist scum can't understand OUR problems (the problems of the little people, the average people), so how can we expect them to even try to solve them?

Well first, I'd like to underscore that most of little people's problems that "elitist scum" can't relate to stem from class standing, rather than intellect. Obviously John Kerry doesn't know diddly-squat about worrying about mortgages. Obviously Al Gore hasn't had to worry about feeding two kids on a single parent's minimum wage salary. But fuck if George Bush knows what it's like to work his way through college. HAHA! So why is it that George Bush is somehow more relatable? Why do you think he knows what it's like to be you?

So no, I really don't buy the relatability argument, sorry! Please explain to me why you like Dummy for President (oh oh, did I just make a double entendre?)

I just anticipated this answer, "well no, we don't want stupid people in power. George Bush is really smart." Well, I don't know if that would make me feel better or worse, guys.

I was listening to "This Amerian Life" on NPR the other day (yah you found me out, I'm an elitist scum). They were trying to explain that the economic crisis stemmed from lack of regulation. Ok, we all heard that. One thing that struck me on TAL, though, was that they said the legislators wanted to leave the economics to the "smart people" -- that the people running wall street are smarter than our legislators, so Congress didn't feel like it was their place to regulate.

What the fuck?? That's EXACTLY the job of Congress as outlined by the Constitution: to regulate commerce! Holy God Damn! Why would we elect people that felt like they were too dumb to do their jobs?

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we should elect people who can REALLY relate to us. This has nothing to do with intellect and everything to do with money. I know PLENTY of super smart, super poor people who would make great legislators and executives. Unfortunately, those are the people that can't actually afford to run for office.

Sincerely,
The Great Tiny