sigh

Caring for bums is terribly inconvenient. I don't recommend it for anyone.

I wish I was back in high school, before my empathy glands had developed and these were the kind of people I hung out with all the time.

another little lol

me: the shiny derriere is muy importante
me: look at that, one sentence, three languages
me: too good, right?
Nic: mm
Nic: very impressive
Nic: can you go for 4?
Nic: or 5?
me: well I could
me: but it might sound unnatural, cuz you wouldn't know
Nic: mya
me: I could try to incorporate the words that are widely known in english from the languages I know
me: this is a challenge
me: "I'm tres sad that there are no kosher blintzes here" -- that's 4
Nic: *vibrate*
me: mama mia, I am tres sad that there are no kosher blintzes here -- there, that's 5
me: lol
Nic: hee
Nic: i am pleased

Coffee Snob

I'm taking a break from my musings on my life in America to laugh at myself.

I'm in Chicago for 6 days. There is no snow outside and I feel gypped (sorry, I know this is secretly a racial slur, but "cheated" doesn't have the same ring to it). The first thing I do: park my ass at an "artisan coffee roaster," pop open my laptop and write yelp reviews and blog. That with no snow, and I'm wondering why I bothered to leave Cali in the first place.

(this event has also been blogged by Ian: lol)

My journey to the west, Chapter 2 (College Pt. 1)

I got into most of the private universities I applied to, regardless of my lack of commitment to the SAT II's. How I wanted to attend a high-brow institution with some high-brow people! I wanted that challenge again. However, I ended up making a rather surprising choice: San Jose State University. This choice was made with cold, hard logic. I came to SJSU to learn the practical arts of animation and illustration and to save on student loans. It made so much sense at the time.

But boy did it make me unhappy. All the years preceding this, I'd been told that I needed to go to a big-name school. I needed that validation of my classmates asking me "oh, and what did you get on your SATs?" And "what other schools did you consider?" I needed the reminder that I was trekking on the right path in life. The one that America had drilled into my head for those past four or five years: this is how you do LIFE.

No one ever asked me these questions at SJSU. These days, I don't even remember what scores I got on the SATs. I met so many amazing people. People who'd gotten their degrees in engineering, only to find out they hated it and to come back for their art degrees. People who'd had kids in a traditional family setting and decided to make a life for themselves doing what they wanted, after 20 years. People who'd transfered from community colleges. All kinds of people. Here they were, doing life, and doing it on their own terms and schedules.

It was a little cathartic realizing that the life dictated to me in high school wasn't the only one worth living. I considered writing a screenplay about this revelation, but ended up working on a different project. Eh, maybe next one?

My journey to the west, Chapter 1 (Primary Education)

I remember my first days at school, learning English and Hebrew, breezing through the remedial math of this American fourth grade. "Can you draw a tree?" was the only question the other students asked me on my first day of school that I understood every word of. I was so used to not understanding, I said "What?" but then caught myself and jumped in "yes, yes I can." And I drew one and blew everyone out of the water. I think I even drew a little girl reading beneath it.

Those were my shaky first steps on the "lavish shag carpet" of American culture. It didn't take me long to get my footing. Two months to learn English. Less time to make friends.

Middle school was middle school. Most everyone goes through the motions of middle school while fighting off the stifling drama of pubescent hormonal rage. Interesting though, in the eighth grade, before I ever had my first boyfriend, I was already starting to feel the pressure to take the right classes, go to the right high school, pick a career, get into college.

In high school, I took all advanced classes. I took all the AP tests, took and retook the SATs and the ACTs. I searched out private colleges that offered good programs in art and design. I sent in my applications.

I'm skipping a lot here, obviously. Somewhere at the end of 8th grade, for instance, I entered into a religious crisis and emerged very cynical. It took me sometime to overcome that and become the cheerful bird I am today. I had boyfriends in high school and family drama. Just as puberty should go out here in California, right?
Somehow that stuff doesn't feel that relevant, though. At least not yet.

I want to pause here and reflect on why I followed that academic path in high school.

There were advisers and directions and talks... I think there was some woman that made a living of telling kids and parents how to maximize their UC attending opportunities. And in a sea of Asian parents, I sat, listening.

And yet, I never took the SAT IIs and never made any effort to apply to any UCs. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I didn't take the AP classes because I wanted to get into college. I took the AP classes simply because I wanted to take them. I was bored by the material, the presentation, and the people in the regular ("college prep") classes.

It seems so simple, but I just took the advanced classes because I wanted to... learn? I wanted to be challenged. I got angry when I wasn't challenged, when I felt like I was being talked down to. The other thing is, I don't think I could really imagine any other way of being, than taking the most advanced classes. So I took them.

My journey to the west, Intro

Thirteen years ago, almost to the day, we arrived crankily in SFO. Confused, disoriented, we sank into the shaggy carpet of our new apartment set up for us by our relatives. Shaky on this new lavish ground, we set ourselves up, found jobs, schools, and set out on a new life.

It's thirteen years later, and some relatives gather around a Thanksgiving table. Thanksgiving, the second most American holiday there is. Heh. We raise our glasses and toast how thankful we are for America...

But two days later, when I remind my mother that it's our thirteen year anniversary of coming here, she crinkles her nose... she hates it here, doesn't she? I look her in the eyes and I don't know what to tell her. I don't know how I feel.

What the hell is America? Everyone has their answer, I suppose. I have my thoughts as well. But that's not what I'm writing about, I don't think... What I think this is about, is how America has shaped me as a person, how I've fought against it all my life, and whether or not I was successful.

Bail me out to the ball game (or Free Market Fairy Tale)

Well I gotta say, I'm pretty conflicted about the whole government "rescue" package thing. I feel like a lot of people have these idealistic notions of the free market fairy tale, which are hindering them from thinking practically about the situation. However, I'm not idealistic one of those people. I'm not a huge free-market proponent. The words "free market," to me are synonymous to "laissez-faire" which conjures up images of tenements and sooty children, as well as the ringing four-star names like JP Morgan and Vanderbilt. I basically feel like the government should do its best to help get our economy on track and I have no qualms about how they do it.... as long as they do it intelligently and practically.

Now that we're talking about bailing out the auto industry, I'm starting to have more and more conflicted thoughts, though. Some arguments for helping them out that have resonated with me:
a) helping us will save thousands of jobs
b) America needs an auto industry to compete in the RISING car market, as more people are able to afford cars.
I heard those things and thought "yah ... yah, sounds about right."
But the more I think about it, the more I want to just let the bastards burn. Here's why:
a) I feel bad for the people who are losing their Detroit manufacturing jobs, I really do. But GM's been laying off people for years and no amount of gov't help is going to change that. Hell, Roger and Me came out when? 19fuckin89! Layoffs and outsourcing was already an issue 20 years ago, and somehow the taxpayers are supposed to see some value in this company?

I won't lie. I drive a large Chevy sedan. It was a hand-me-down, though, so don't blame me :P. What GM needs to do is start making cars that people will want to buy, build a better business model, NOT lay off people.

This brings me to point b:
b) I don't know how much allegiance I'm pledging to America and how much I care if it competes in the world car market... but assuming I care or simply taking the stance of "let America do what's in its best interest,".... THEN YES, America does need to have an edge on that market. But you know, I just don't think SUVs and Hummers are that competitive anymore. They did well in the US for a while, but I think people are looking for something more efficient and environmentally friendly. Does anyone have any statistics on that? I'm just assuming SUVs aren't doing so hot cuz... well cuz our car companies are going down!

So what I think is that American car companies need to rethink their business model and FAST, and start making more environmentally friendly and efficient cars. Either that or cheaper, smaller cars. Or both.

Or... we just let GM and the ilk die. If they're not willing to change their evil ways, you know they got to go. Since GM is doing the worst, perhaps they'll die and then the rest will come to their senses? You know, learn from others' mistakes.

But if none of them come to their senses, I think OTHER companies will step in an fill that void. And hopefully buy out the Detroit plants and adapt them for the car of the future. SolarWorld in Germany is attempting one such transaction with GM's German division, Opel Let Tesla Motors take over Detroit. I'm all for that. I hear they're trying to expand into family cars anyhow. Or what's that cheap-ass Indian car? Has anyone considered stealing THAT business model? Or something like it, but a little less horrifying?

Did I just make up my mind while writing this? I think I did!

Calling Motl Brody's Brain

Three years is too short a time for this to be brought up again. I was so ready to forget Terry Schiavo in 05.

Background: Motl Brady was a 12 year old boy who had a horrible brain tumor that ate through him in six months. Last week, he was pronounced dead due to a cessation of brain function. However, his Orthodox Jewish parents disagree with the hospital's definition of death, citing that the Jewish religion defines death as a cessation of ALL organ function, and since life support is making Motl's heart beat and lungs inflate/deflate, he's still alive. Since he is still alive, it is the hospital's duty to continue treating him.

This is tragic, really. No parents should have to live through their children's deaths, especially not a young kid like that, and in such a horrible way. Sigh. My sincerest condolences to the Brody family.

The legal issues here could be considered by the Terry Schiavo precedent, except that Terry wasn't COMPLETELY brain-dead like Motl is, but rather in a persistent vegetative state (PVS). She could perspire on her own and her heart was still beating, which is why it was her feeding tube that was the center of attention. A better legal precedent is that of little Jesse Koochin, who died in 2004: this article details that case. Aside from the parents' motivations, the two cases are very similar.

The Koochins were hoping for a miracle. The Brody family has no such delusions, yet they are at the center of a religious debate. In fact, it's not a tenet of the Jewish faith that death is defined by complete organ failure. Death is defined by the moment when the soul leaves the body, as far as I know. But of course, since the intricacies of the Jewish faith have always been the subject of vigorous debate, why should this be an exception? Why should we let the states decide? Details about the religious debate within Jewish law... It's a pretty interesting read.

Here's the main reason why Motl Brody and Terry Schiavo are different: the implications for the rest of us. The Brody family isn't looking to change any laws, they are just looking for an exception to be made for what they feel is their duty to their son and God. The Schiavo case had pro-life implications that were pretty terrifying. If the life of Terry (a person with a barely functioning brain that would never function properly again) was protected under the law, then what did that say about a fetus with a functioning brain and full potential?

The only thing at stake here is one hospital bed and the time of some nurses. I mean, that's important too, but it's not the end of the world. He won't be alive for five more years like Terry. Eventually his body will stop responding to the drugs. Explain to me why the Brodies can't take Motl back on life support like the Koochins did?

Streets of San Jose (personal outrage)

I was walking Cafe Pomegranate this morning and passed by some dude in the street. He was middle-aged, was wearing sweats and a backwards baseball cap, all of which was oddly offset by a pair of black-rimmed glasses.
He said, "Good morning."
"Good morning," I replied, to be polite.
"You sure are beautiful," he said, which threw me off. I mean, I get BS like that all the time, but somehow I didn't expect it from behind black-rimmed glasses.
"Thank you," I said, looking down.
"Want a ride?" Good god! This man was gaining creepiness points on an exponential scale.
"NO." I said emphatically.
"Are you sure..." he trailed after me, as I rounded the corner, quickening my step.

Good god. Does this ever work? Does any young, attractive female say to a middle-aged man in sweatpants, "Oh sure, I'd love a ride! I sure do hate walking, mister. My, aren't those sexy sweatpants!" Clearly, I've been waiting for him all my life.

*shudder*

A good thing

I just thought I'd mention a thing I'm *not* outraged about: the failure of Prop 4 in California. For those of you who don't know, Prop 4 would've instituted waiting periods and parental notification for minors' abortions.
Anything that increases the chances of self-induced abortions is terrifying to me. Beyond that, you can't legislate trust and good parenting. I mean seriously, if you could legislate good parenting, the issue of teenage pregnancy would be severely reduced anyway.

Anyways, thank you California for not passing Prop 4. Even if it was a slim margin.

Thank god Prop 8 passed

If it had failed, pretty soon all Christian marriages would be dissolved, and all the men and women of California would be forced at gunpoint to marry the newly freed chickens of Fresno County. Bawk bawk, baby!

*eye rolls*

~~~
Seriously, though. Now is the time to look forward to a brighter future. In 2000, Proposition 22 passed 62% to 38%, whereas Proposition 8 passed only 52% to 48%. That's a 20% difference!! In eight years, A LOT of people changed their minds. This is good.

I see what I want to see!!!

It was a beautiful thing when the campus kept erupting in cheers of elation all throughout last night. Strangers were hugging one another, high fiving each other as they passed on the street. "WE DID IT! WE GOT ONE!" I kept hearing. "OBAMMAAAAAAAA"

An image that sticks out in my head was that of one girl standing up on the third platform of our famous statue with her fist raised. Yeah, this one:

Black Power, girl... black power.

I'm not sure if my political affiliations are clear from my previous posts, but I'll just say it: I'm really happy Obama won. Bush has been in power since I was 14! I grew up under that guy. I haven't been happy about election results in 12 years and I don't even remember what that feels like!

But come on, people. Do you really think he'll change that much? I *know* we'll be a lot better off under Obama than we were under Bush. Bush isn't hard to beat! I just can't help but feel cynical that Obama will fix all our problems.

People see what they want to see in their candidate. Bill Maher said on the Daily Show that he doesn't believe Obama is all that religious, but only says he is to garner votes. Alright, Bill. Mr. Maher can't respect a religious person, so he assumes anyone he respects is not religious. I LOVE that kind of logic *eye roll.* My classmates believe that Obama secretly supports gay marriage, even though he says he doesn't. "He couldn't get elected if he says he supports it!" Yes, that's true. It's become even more painfully apparent what even the most liberal states think of gay marriage after last night (WHAT THE FUCK, CALIFORNIA!! GRRRRRR)... but just because you want him to, doesn't mean Obama actually ascribes to your philosophy! (P.S. All this can be said about McCain supporters too.)

And EVERYONE believes that Obama represents Hope with a capital H (capital H for Hussein? heh, ok sorry). That's great. I'm hopeful too. I would absolutely love to be proven wrong and have my cynicism dissipate.

Prop 8 Outrage

I was at a Halloween party the other day (duh, wasn't everyone?), and I overheard a drunken Prop 8 conversation. I always try to break up economics and/or other political discussions at drunken parties. They take up energy uselessly and don't get anything accomplished... oh and they are such a buzzkill.
This one was especially bad, cuz it basically went like this:
"I'm voting yes on prop 8"
"What? But nooo"
"Look, it's the word 'marriage'!"
"...but it's MEAN!"
"But it's the WORD"
"BUT IT'S MEAN!!"
"You're not going to change my mind"
"AAAAAGGHHH!"
Which is when I dragged him away from her and yelled, "FORGET HER!"

It was sad. Sad!
All I can really say is... I just don't see the point of denying people happiness over semantics.

The end.

-The Great Tiny

Why do you hate smart people? II

In line with the previous two posts, this one is inspired by NPR. A long-time Republican for Obama interviewed on some show or another (Forum, maybe? Talk of the Nation?) mused on the anti-intellectual sentiment in this country.

This reminds me of an old soviet joke that I'm going to attempt to poorly translate for you:

A packed bus. A thin man in black-rimmed glasses taps a big burly guy on the shoulder and says meekly, "Excuse me, sir, I was wondering if perhaps you'll be exiting at the next stop?"
The burly man looks at him and barks, "What, are you some kind of intellectual?"
"No no," the thin man throws up his arms defensively, "I'm a moron just like you!"

But look, in a communist country that lives by the credo that "every man is equal," I can see the rationale for this sentiment. Members of the Intelligencia think they're better than everyone else. Shit, who do they think they are?

In a free market economy such as ours, where our politicians not only don't think every human being is equal, but don't even believe that every human being deserves the same basic rights (to health care, for instance, or child care), where does the anti-intellectualism come from?

It's the opposite here -- the pinko-commie liberals seem to be the college-educated ones, the ones who value intellect... and the free-market assholes are the ones who frown on it. What sense does that make?

On Joe Six-Pack and the Soccer Mom:

Dear Average Americans,
I know this question has been brought up over and over by smart-ass people like me, but I still don't get it. I'm still confused. I've been watching the campaigns for the last eight years and continuously, over and over, candidates try to appear like the boy next door, like your average guy.

Please explain this to me, because I think I'm a pretty smart person, and yet somehow, I don't feel qualified to run a country. So anyone that I would qualify as my intellectual equal, probably isn't fit to run the country either. Man do I sound snobby by setting myself up as some kind of above-average person here, but statistically, speaking, I'm college educated and that means I'm automatically in some kind of elite faction. And I don't want people like me running the country. I SURE AS HELL do not want "average" people running the country either.

What I want is someone SMARTER than me. Someone who understands our problems better than I can. Someone who can solve problems that I cannot solve.

Look look, I understand all that hoollabaloo about relating to the constituency. Those stinkin elitist scum can't understand OUR problems (the problems of the little people, the average people), so how can we expect them to even try to solve them?

Well first, I'd like to underscore that most of little people's problems that "elitist scum" can't relate to stem from class standing, rather than intellect. Obviously John Kerry doesn't know diddly-squat about worrying about mortgages. Obviously Al Gore hasn't had to worry about feeding two kids on a single parent's minimum wage salary. But fuck if George Bush knows what it's like to work his way through college. HAHA! So why is it that George Bush is somehow more relatable? Why do you think he knows what it's like to be you?

So no, I really don't buy the relatability argument, sorry! Please explain to me why you like Dummy for President (oh oh, did I just make a double entendre?)

I just anticipated this answer, "well no, we don't want stupid people in power. George Bush is really smart." Well, I don't know if that would make me feel better or worse, guys.

I was listening to "This Amerian Life" on NPR the other day (yah you found me out, I'm an elitist scum). They were trying to explain that the economic crisis stemmed from lack of regulation. Ok, we all heard that. One thing that struck me on TAL, though, was that they said the legislators wanted to leave the economics to the "smart people" -- that the people running wall street are smarter than our legislators, so Congress didn't feel like it was their place to regulate.

What the fuck?? That's EXACTLY the job of Congress as outlined by the Constitution: to regulate commerce! Holy God Damn! Why would we elect people that felt like they were too dumb to do their jobs?

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we should elect people who can REALLY relate to us. This has nothing to do with intellect and everything to do with money. I know PLENTY of super smart, super poor people who would make great legislators and executives. Unfortunately, those are the people that can't actually afford to run for office.

Sincerely,
The Great Tiny

Hi

So lately, I've been listening to a lot of NPR while trying to figure out what the hell is going on in this country (US). This, in turn, has spurred a lot of thoughts, which I will now start posting here.

So here is my first tiny outrage:

Goodbye McCain, it was nice knowing you
I always thought if McCain was finally nominated for President, it would really give the swing voters something to think about it. Hell, it would've put me in the swing vote category... especially if he was running against Kerry or someone. I was excited to see him kick Mitt Romney's ass, for sure. Mitt Romney is such a tool and it totally broke that "good looking guy always wins" rule! Rudy Giuliani was an interesting contender, but he's also kind of crazy and he was riding the 9/11 thing too much.

Anyway, I was just waiting for him to give Obama or Hillary a run for their money. I'd probably still have voted Democratic, but I'd have thought about it.

Except unfortunately, the McCain running for president is not the same guy that ran during the primaries. If they'd let McCain run as himself, I'd have respected him as a candidate and thought about voting for him, even.

The moment I knew I wouldn't even consider McCain was the moment he changed his mind on torture. I know he actually flipflopped (to use a term that is a favorite among the republicans) on a lot of issues, but that was the one that just blew me away.

Look look, ok I don't think McCain really believes in torture. I'm sure he feels the same about torture as he has always felt, that crazy Swiss lover. Unless of course McCain has been secretly done away with and replaced with a convincing dummy or robot or something. I think McCain is the same person he's always been, but now I have NO idea what his policies will be like. Will he wake up from this bad dream once he's in office? Or will he continue to be pushed around by the Republican Party? The campaign is supposed to tell us that, so now I don't know WHAT to expect of him.

Ok, so after McCain was taken over by Republican mind-worms, I was hoping at the very least this was a temporary solution to the McCain "straight-talk" problem. I thought, "Ok, I won't vote for him, but if he wins, it still won't be the end of the world, because he might still secretly be McCain." I wasn't for him, but I wasn't scared of him either.

All that changed when they chose Palin as the VP nominee. Oh how I miss you, Geraldine Ferraro. (I'm just kidding, I don't know anything about Geraldine Ferraro. She's way before my time).

Here's the thing: I totally think it's in poor taste to bring up a candidate's health issues during the campaign. Good health was never a prerequisite for the presidency. Wasn't it Harrison who had a very averse (fatal) reaction to some ice cream during his inauguration dinner? But the idea of an old man with skin cancer, who or may or may not have brain worms, dying in office and allowing someone like Palin to take over SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME!

Congrats, McCain, in a few short months, you've gone from being the only republican I respected, to terrifying me. Bye, McCain, it was nice knowing you.

Sincerely,
The Great Tiny